Staying when I want to run...

For the last few months I've been complaining, whining really about why our finances aren't getting better, why do I have this horrible, hideous, painful rash all over my body, why has this pregnancy been one trial after another???

I ask God daily, in vain, why?
In my quiet time with him today he didn't answer my why question, instead, he presented me with a new question..How?
How God? Really? What do you mean How? Then ever so softly he answered, How am I using these circumstances and situations to change your heart? How am I drawing you closer to me through the trials and the storm? How are you in trusting me?

You see, I've been running, I've been dreaming of escape...escaping my situation by running away from husband and family, running from responsibility by staying in bed instead of facing the day, running from my one true source by complaining, instead of embracing His goodness, faithfulness and ultimate plan for my heart.

I thank him that he is God and I am not. I thank him that he has blessed me with a pregnancy after nine years of trying, I thank him that my husband has a heart anchored in Christ and in his family, I thank him for the good work he has started in me and promises to finish. I thank him for showing me How, through all of this, I am growing in character and strength. I thank him that he meets me daily where I'm at and daily romances, loves and calls me his own. I thank him that he reminds me to stay and trust in him when I feel like I need to run...

Feel like an old fart

I feel like an old fart who doesn't know how to navigate the web. I'm new to this, but will endeavor to learn more and add more accordingly.